TESD #66: Issue Zero

Listener Band Info:

Band name: Leather Daddy and the Frontal Bullet Duo
Song: Headli(n)es


While on the subject of tunes…Walt has written what’s sure to be a smash hit but needs a band to provide the music. So get to strumming, drumming, tinkling, (blowing on a jug if you’re Maxwell) or whatever it is you do and put these timeless lyrics to music. Of course somebody’s gotta sing & it ain’t gonna be Walt so don’t just write the notes! It’s not much of a contest since there’s no ‘prize’ per se but won’t it be fun to hear the contenders on the show?

Listen to today’s live show for more info.


What manner of creature stands behind this counter
Man or machine is the big mystery
and with every transaction I cement my place in history.

My fingers dance over the register keys leaving your mouth agape
and it’s not ’cause I make King Kong look like just another ape
but it’s just another sale to this comics-selling alpha male.

I could sell comics to a blind man
a Wednesday warrior through and through
and you’ll buy everything I tell you to.
I sell comics baby. Comics baby. Comics baby. Oooooooo…..Yeahhhhhhhh


In WW two the allies kicked nazi ass and Hitler sobbed nein, nein, nein
Just like my competition when they hang that going out of business sign.


Song ends with register sounds, drawer opening/closing

About tellemsd

We tell 'em. It's what we do. It's ALL we do.
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50 Responses to TESD #66: Issue Zero

  1. Cathal says:

    by the look of the lyrics he has a fair idea for how he wants it to go… any chance he hums a few bars on the pod?

  2. Mass says:

    it was written to the tune of a monster magnet song. i forget which one, im sure someone will name it.

    it was discussed on “Wake Up Steve-Dave” today.

    Great week, great pod. Love you guys

  3. Chriseee says:

    Like all rockstars Walt talks about his hard partying lifestyle in his lyrics

  4. John Forbes says:

    what time is Steve-Dave on SIR? Is it just me, or does anyone else find that the SIR site has NO real pertinent information on it, such as a SCHEDULE!

    That being said I love TESD and most of what SIR has to offer.

  5. Jeff L says:

    Thanks, sirs

  6. Seriously, these are amazing lyrics. I am considering breaking out the guitar and coming out of rock retirement for this one.

  7. Kelli Brand says:

    UGH! I wish you would’ve mentioned Kevin Smith would be on the show. He just isn’t funny AT ALL. Waste of a download. I can’t listen to his fat voice. I hate him.

  8. Kelli Brand says:

    He needs to SHUT UP!

  9. Kelli Brand says:

    Why does Walt look up to this fat pig-man?

  10. Kelli Brand says:

    How many times is this fat pig-man going to tell the SAME stories. SHUT UP AND LET BRYWALTQ TALK!!!!!!

    • Michelle says:

      I was was thinking the same thing. I don’t know about this ‘pig-man’ business but it was pretty strange and annoying how he just kept harping on with the ‘remember when’ stories which he surely knows he’s told multiple times before. Even if we hadn’t heard them before though, he came out-of-nowhere talking over everyone with them, it felt like some sort of pre-planned talk-show act that he was determined to play out no matter what everyone else was talking about.

      Not to be a Mr Negative here, but it seems at some point Smith stopped being a genuine, thinking person, capable of holding a conversation, and instead became a clown with a written-in-stone routine. He’s now got this cheeseball act like Bill and Marty from ‘The Simpsons,’ horrible it is.

  11. Elephant Bell was the song Walt said he styled it to. Is anyone else going to miss hearing the guys everyday of the week?

  12. Besuo Midgeo says:

    I loved hearing them this week. And I’ll save those shows on my iPod. But, I wouldn’t want them to suffer from over exposure. I think it’s hurt Kevin a bit. I still listen to Smod, though. And I really really hope AMC picks up their pilot.

    • Same here. Loved the Newlywed style game on Friday’s episode. I don’t think Kev suffered from over exposure, because I kind of got tired of him before the explosion of the Smod network. I think he just stays to rigidly fixed on either Fleshlights, poop, anal, or sucking a guys cock. Its like he thinks those are the only things that will get him laughs. If it werent for Mosier, I’d probably drop listening to Smod. I do have to say I was impressed with his interview of Scott Neidermeyer.

  13. ROBOT BEAR says:

    UHHHHH enough with letting kev on he tells the same stories over and over again. Yes we get it Walt didnt talk to you for 8 months. You told it on smod you told it on highlands you told it on tesd and now again on tesd ?its the same exact story Kev for reals man enough. Other than that great show and great live shows this week guys!! The SIR network was actaully entertaining in the morning without KEV and Jen sorry to say but its true.

  14. Gavin O'Absinthe! says:

    Have to agree regarding Kev. How about a tell em steve dave and Mosier show? Or Walt, Bri and just Mewes talking about the old days? That would be great.

  15. Gavin O'Absinthe! says:

    Forgot to say, great lyrics Walt!!!!!!!

  16. Zanshin says:

    This was the first week I actually listened to the morning show on SIR… Kevin and Jen are too annoying together so I never listen. If TESD did a show everyday on SIR.. then I would start to listen to SIR… but its just Kevin, Jen and Mewes.. Mewes I can handle with Kevin, but not Jen and Kev as they are annoying together.

    Sure Kev repeated the same old shit on TESD this week.. but we got a TON of TESD this week…and where did we get it… oh from his SMODCAST PODCAST network..

    So STFU and cut Kev some slack. Everyone is listening through his good graces and drive.

    • judascow says:

      My thoughts exactly, the morning show was a joy to listen to this week.

      As much as I appreciate all the good work Kevin has done, the whole Plus One concept just grates.
      Yeah the fishies have no eyes, yeah Jen says ‘Fuck you motherfucker’ a lot, but it doesn’t make for an entertaining listen.

      I get the idea that he wants to do a show with the wife, but it’s by far the least entertaining show on the entire network.

  17. Kelli Brand says:

    Does Mosier even like Kevin or does he just feel sorry for him and continues to, kind of, hang around? Scott is WAY, WAY funnier than him as are BRYWALTQ. Hell, they’d never admit it, but I think Bry and Q like Scott more than Kevin. Walt is just TOO attached to ever say or feel anything different. Kevin Smith needs to grow up.

  18. Kelli Brand says:

    Oh, and can’t wait for OVERKILL!!!

  19. OK_Computer says:

    Holy shit, guys. What a great episode! It’s funny how Kev will always take over the podcast, but at least he’s hilarious. The three of you can always rock the hell out of a pod.

    Bring back Highlands: A Peephole History please?

  20. Robin Goodfellow says:

    Any chance we could get the lyrics for “Calm Down, Nerd,” or is it incomplete? If it is incomplete, it might be fun to write a song to that theme.

  21. Sam says:

    It does feel a bit sacrilegious to echo the sentiment of a few other listeners here in regards to Kev, but I have to admit it’s totally true… TESD rocks waaaay harder than Smodcast does these days, or really any other Smodcast network show (including the SIR shows), and the repetition of Kev’s stories, his tendency to take over the shows, and that ego seeping through becomes a bit much. That’s harsh, I guess… much love to Ol’ mister Smith for bringing about all of these shows, not to mention the rest of his work which I’ve always enjoyed… but damn TESD is a helluva thing on it’s own… and this week listening to tesd-SIR mornings was just beyond awesome.

    Maybe it’s the result of being a longtime, diehard fan… coupled with the amount of content Kevin is creating (or overseeing) week to week, but his role seems far more effective as a producer and chilling with the likes of Jen, Mewes or Ralph in L.A. doing those pods. Or Mosier…though fresh “non-live-recorded” smods are a rarity these days.

    Keep spinnin’ them plates boys… but if you could work up to the point of doing a regular daily show I have no doubt it would eclipse Per Diem/Get Jobs in no time.

    …And hey, thanks for a TESD show this week even with all the smornings you had to do too… wasn’t expecting that, and was definitely stoked to see it posted!

  22. Bill LaRue says:

    Why do some people feel the need to complain about how terrible Kevin is, especially here?
    You must realize Kevin has been friends with Bryan and Walt for 40 years (exaggeration). Do you think that they’re suddenly going to say, “Hey, so and so from the internet thinks Kevin sucks. Let’s ditch that turd”?

    I don’t get it.

    • I don’t think thats the aim of complaining about Kev. I think its kind of a knee jerk reaction to a format that people have come to know and love being altered with they tend to be antagonistic, possibly out of fear of losing something they’ve come to know and love. So instead of adapting to the possibility of changes, they tend to lash out.
      I’ll be honest, I get annoyed when Kev comes on the show and ends up taking control, but I try to keep in my mind that if not for Kev and his movies, the podcast of TESD would never have been.

      • Sam says:


      • Pete says:

        That’s all well and good and I love View Askew pre-SMod explosion and pot-smoking Kevin, but it is a bit trying when SModcast and every podcast Kevin is on has devolved into a rehash of dick and gay jokes, the same old stories (I have heard the story about Walt, Kevin, and Bryan meeting on TESD, Highlands, SModcast, etc), and just an overall attitude of overindulgence. No, I do not care to listen to my favorite podcasts every hour of every day, no I do not care to have a daily show available to listen to.

        Less is more, and that’s what makes TESD and the boys behind it so great. It’s because they DON’T throw it everyone’s face and plaster themselves everywhere. They’re simple guys who get together once a week to do a podcast for their individual audience. Pushing them to the SIR standard of daily shows, shorter shows, streamlined scripted formats, etc is not the way to garner more listeners, it’s a way to alienate long-time fans. If it isn’t broken don’t fuck with it.

  23. Pete Dancer says:

    loved the drinking game on friday. if you do it again maybe it should be called ‘walt liquor’

  24. GeekyBaz says:

    Just listened to the episode. Always a great show. I enjoy Kev and Jay being on as I really enjoy the Highlands episodes. One thing i’ve taken from is this – I really am looking forward to the TESD version of the transcript books. Day 1 order for me.

    Anyway, keep up the good work and you guys were awesome on the daily show. I’ll miss that next week

  25. Maggie says:

    As a 20 year old female listener who collects comics I was livid listening to Walt on this weeks episode.
    No I don’t have as much comics knowledge as Walt (I started reading Japanese comics when I was six, American ones when the X-men movies came out) but I am a damn good saleswoman. I spent my teenage years convincing people to take stupid surveys for nielsen ratings in the lobby of a movie theatre. I got paid on commission, so i mastered customer service fast. Now I’m at Starbucks dealing with cranky caffeine addicts with a constant smile on my face.

    And bullshit girls only come to comic stores with their boyfriends, my fiance didn’t even read comics before we started dating. I was the one who had to drag him to comic stores/ conventions. He thought that superheroes were stupid so I got him some zombie comics and now he likes comics too.

    P.S. I have d cups. I’m an amazing saleswoman. My dream is becoming a comic book artist. Hire me. I might live in Chicago but I’ll go to Jersey to work in a comic store/ be on TV.

  26. ari says:

    why is kev trying to get other people in? it would change the dynamic. american chopper doesn’t have any gilrs and it”s mega successful

  27. bxtorr19 says:

    To bad i live on Long Ilsand and am too far away to apply for the “girl in the sausage factory” job. I’m a middle aged woman that used to collect comics, I play D&D, LARP, and I’m a pirate reenactor. So basicly I’m just like the guys only I have an innie not an outtie. However, Kev is not trying to get girls on TESD, AMC wants to appeal to the female viewer and perhaps add a little eye-candy for male viewers. As for the fact Kev tells the same story about becoming friend’s with Walt, when the hell is he supposed to do? Make-up something new? You also have to remember that not everyone knows the back story so he is trying to give the secret origins stuff.

    BTW, Bryon more Sage and Dada show!! That was too precious. Have you ever thought that perhaps doors had to close you you to be there for your sister’s children and without you Sage would not be developing as well as she is? I understand that blackness in your head that wants consume your thoughts but you are vital and needed. If not Susanne and Sage would not love you like they do.

  28. 😦 I’m missing my daily 2hour TESD!!!

    I’m coming over from Australia in early August and thinking of visiting the Stash… would Walt let me in even if I didn’t buy anything? ROFL

  29. EZSTE says:

    How do I get to TESD Overkill? Link?

  30. meltz911 says:

    Is it “zoon” or “zoom” or what? Spell this shit out if you want us to sign up.

  31. Mel says:

    Yeah I’m hoping there’ll be some more info on this blog soon because I am so out of the loop with what’s happening/how to sign up/what it all means, etc etc

  32. gabfrab says:

    I just don’t see anyone else doing justice to the phrase “comics, baby” better than Walt. Also, I have a summer cold, and when reading the Hitler line snot got on my favorite owl shirt from laughing with my nose.

  33. Steven says:

    Hi, have looked up Zune info on Wikipedia and so, not wanting to feel Walt’s wrath, does this rule us in the UK out?

    “In October 2010, certain Zune Marketplace content became available in additional countries [but] not all content is available in all countries; for example, podcasts and TV shows are not offered at all outside the United States.”

  34. What dates of Plus one Per Diem is the TESD morning show(s)? Was there a few or just one?

  35. Sven & Inga says:

    +1 Mel. I have no idea whats going on, and when they talk about these new things on the pod it sounds like they just assume everybody already knows what they are talking about. I have listened to every podcast they have ever done and Im still sitting there dumbstruck…
    About zune, tried to find them there, nope, found some other smodcast show, couldnt listen to it since Im in Sweden and apparently Im not allowed to listen from that region. Great, so Im not going to hear TESD anymore? Or are they launching a new show? Is the original TESD over with? What is Overkill? And Puck Nuts is just gone without a word about it? Come on…
    I would love to hear the morning shows they did, couldnt listen to it live (different timezones), I think I heard they would be available as podcasts but I cant find those either.
    I appreciate the work they put in and I love the shows, but more and better information please. Maybe on this blog?

  36. covmeister says:

    For anyone having trouble with the ZUNE pod (namely anyone outside the US)

    ZUNE support told me that its available in US only. I live in Ireland.

    However, Im now listening! I registered for zune, then when you go on to the site change your region to US. Search for OVERKILL, and press the play button beside the podcast entry. I am streaming as I post. woooo


  37. pd says:

    hey, for any australian listeners who want to subscribe to overkill with Zune (would probably work in other countries where the podcasts are locked out as well) here are some pretty simple instructions:
    used it and it works! overkill is great too. bry, might be worth sharing this on a show?

  38. Plumpy says:

    To all you others that can’t download the new Zune pods because you’re not in America this is what you do.

    Step 1. Press the “Start” button in the bottom left hand side of your desktop. In the “Search programs and files” tab enter regedit.

    Step 2. Open the HKEY_CURRENT_USER folder. Then open the Software folder. Then open the Microsoft folder. And look for the Zune folder.

    Step 3. Then right click the Zune folder and make a new Key and call it FeaturesOverrider

    Step 4. Now highlight the FeaturesOverride folder and in the column to the right make a new “DWORD (32 bit) Value” by right clicking in the column then going to “new” then to “DWORD (32-bit) Value”. You want to make 4 new DWORDs. You must then change the “value Data” of each file to “1” by right clicking each file go to “Modify” and then changing the 0 to a 1

    Music REG_DWORD 0x00000001(1)
    Podcasts REG_DWORD 0x00000001(1)
    QuickMixLocal REG_DWORD 0x00000001(1)
    Social REG_DWORD 0x00000001(1)

    Step 5. Just exit Regedit and open Zune and you should see you now see Podcasts and Music in you Collection and Marketplace.

    Cheers for the laughs guys i look forward to ever episode.

    Plumpy from Australia

  39. TarDeeJay says:

    Anyone else find Zune to be a shitty program? Maybe it’s just me being a dumbass but I struggle with getting the Overkill episode dowloaded… I would like to get it on my iPod so I can listen to it at work but I’ve obviously been spoiled with iTunes over the las couple of years, it being an easy and logical program to use and all…

    • i find zune easier to use with a bit less frustration and bullshit than itunes, which bugs me to no end. maybe it’s just me. it just saves podcasts as mp3s so if you go to ‘collection’, then ‘podcasts’ find ‘overkill’ and where it lists them on the right, right click on one of the episodes and click properties and it’ll tell you where it’s saved. most likely ‘my podcasts’ under your username

  40. lollerskater says:

    TESD OVERKILL Episode one: http://www.mediafire.com/?zwgknk86xnltwy4

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