Vinylcast, A Job Offer And A Poster Contest

Quinn here.

I’d apologize for the lack of updates to the blog lately, but it was never my responsibility to begin with so I’m happy to throw Bryan under the bus for this one.

Despite the lack of blog activity, there has been a lot going on in the TESD world. I know you must be thinking that I’m referring to the fact that Impractical Jokers premieres this Thursday at 10pm on Tru TV. I’d forgive you for thinking that, knowing as I do that the world is simply afire with anticipation for what I’m calling the best TV show since Jesus. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

No.

I’m talking about the TESD Vinylcast. As far as I can tell, it’s the world’s first podcast to ever get released on a vinyl record. I shudder to think of you missing out on this. We’re taking pre-orders for it now here. We’ll be taking orders until January 7th. However many orders we have on the 7th is exactly how many we print. After that, we lock the plates away in the TESD vault, possibly never to be seen again. Each album will be numbered too, because people like numbered editions.

We’ll be shipping them out in late February, which isn’t as far away as that sounds. When you order the TESD Vinylcast, you get –

– 12″ vinyl record with a podcast on it that you have to stop, then flip over to finish listening to. Exciting!

– A custom sleeve with original artwork by Walt Flanagan, which will be numbered and signed by the TESD crew. Walt is pretty fired up about this, despite the fact that he shot me down when I first presented the idea.

– A code so that you can download a digital version of the show, complete with crappy record playing hiss-and-pop sound effects added to it. NOTE – We will never be selling this podcast in any other format than the vinyl. It won’t be popping up on Bandcamp in the future.

Now, here is the cool part, there will be approximately 100 colored vinyl records that we randomly ship out. I imagine that you will be able to sell these things on ebay for a few million in the near future. If you’re one of the lucky few to get one of these bad boys, you’re going to be the envy of everyone. Fucking EVERYONE!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE TESD VINYLCAST!!!!!

JOB OFFER – We’re looking for some help on the sleeve artwork and, for once, it’s a paid position. Walt needs a digital painter / photoshop expert to work on his art with him. If it’s something you’re interested in doing, please submit examples of your work to tellemstevedave37@gmail.com . It’s going to require a fairly quick turn around time, so serious applicants only. We need someone good. Again, we’re paying for this one.

POSTER CONTEST – Speaking of Impractical Jokers – If you live in NYC you can’t turn around without seeing an Impractical Jokers poster on walls, phone booths and on the sides of buses. I have two of these IJ posters to give away, and they’re signed by myself and the rest of the cast! Sure, if the show flops then it’s pretty useless, but you never know what might happen. These clowns might have a future. At least one of us should end up doing something bigger one day, right?

All you have to do to win one of these is follow both @BryWaltQ and @TheTenderloins on twitter. Since you’re reading this I’m assuming you’re already following @BryWaltQ. Now all you gotta do is follow @The Tenderloins. In a couple of weeks I’ll randomly select two people who follow both accounts to receive one. It’ll help me pick a winner (and help you win) if when you follow @TheTenderloins you send them a tweet that says something like “@BryWaltQ sent me here to win a poster.” Doesn’t have to be that exactly, just something that lets me know you’re there.

That about does it for now. I’m three days away from the premiere of my TV show, so I gotta go back to trying not to vomit.

Thanks for listening. It really means a lot to me.

-Q

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Space Monkeys

Quinn here. I know that this is usually Bryan’s forum, but I’m taking it over for a bit to dispense some information.

First, I want to thank all non-England based followers of our Twitter feed for their patience regarding the barrage of information flowing through there about the Space Monkeys Jolly Ol’ England Tour. I know I’ve been hitting it hard with info that’s largely useless to you, but it will pay off for everyone in the long run. See, if this England tour is a success (and it already is) then I’m going to have an easier time setting up shows in the good old USA. I may not be able to get Walt on a plane, but I can get him in a car if I show him that we can actually pull this off. I crave his approval.

Yes, Walt has morphed into some sort of bizarre father figure for me.

So, hold tight, USA. Once these shows sell out (fingers crossed) then it’ll be back to business as usual, i.e. hitting on women with nice looking profile pics and spending an inordinate amount of time and energy corresponding with people who say that we suck.

Also, pimping “Impractical Jokers” coming to Tru TV on December 15th.

Okay. That’s the Yanks sorted out. Now onto the Limeys…..

Good news, everyone! We sold out London and Manchester! Paul at the Prince Charles Cinema in London and Graham at the Fab Cafe in Manchester have worked tirelessly to make this happen, and the response has been more than we hoped for.  So much so that Bryan and I have added shows. These shows are:

1) A midnight show in London at the Prince Charles Cinema. We’ve dropped the midnight show price to £10, because we know it’s late and I want to encourage people from the 7pm show to return for the midnight show. More on that in a moment. You can buy tickets for the midnight show here.

2) A September 19th show at the Fab Cafe in Leeds.  Yes, Leeds.  I will not be wearing any Manchester related kits in Leeds. You can secure your tickets by calling the good people of the Leeds Fab Cafe at 0113 244 9009. Tickets will be £15 a pop there.

To answer a question we’ve been getting a lot – Yes, we will be selling t-shirts at the shows. TESD shirts. Space Monkeys shirts (Bryan is working on a special tour version of this). We will also be selling tour posters. A small, but respectable merchandise table, I think you’ll find.

Another frequent question is one about whether Bryan and I will be hanging out after the shows.  To this, I reply an enthusiastic YES!  Allow me to break it down for you –

LONDON – We have a show at 7pm at the Prince Charles Cinema. After the show we will be walking across the road to a nice joint called Ruby Blue where we will begin the fine art of getting blottoed. Ruby Blue has been kind enough to host us, and you will only be able to get in with your ticket stub from the show, so hold onto it. Entrance is free, but, sadly, we need to pay for drinks. You can get in with tickets from either of the London shows, so don’t worry about that.

At Ruby Blue, Bryan and I will be in attendance, fluttering and (in Bryan’s case, of course) hitting on your wives and girlfriends. It’s gonna be a blast. A blast that leads to the alcohol-fueled midnight show. Midnight Madness, I’m calling it. I’m hoping for a much more interactive, Rocky Horror type show for the midnight hour, but that’s just me. Bryan may just be hoping for me to stay awake and not fight with the audience, Houston style.

MANCHESTER – Fab Cafe in Manchester is shaping up to be the frat party that I’ve always wanted. First, it’s in a bar. Boom. Second, it looks like some Irish lasses are going to come over and act as the Space Monkeys Cheerleaders. This isn’t a definite, but if you listen to the last Overkill, you know we tried to set it up. Any girls interested in joining in, let me know. Third, we will be walking right from the stage to the bar to hang out, and Graham says we can go as late as we want. So we will be going late. I feel like Manchester is going to be the Thunderdome of this tour. Finally, the place looks like the comic book store, so Bryan and I will be right at home. It’s got a ton of cool, geeky movie memorabilia all over the place.

I’ve been to the Fab Cafe in Manchester back in 2009 and can attest to the fact that it’s a fucking lovely place to spend an evening.

LEEDS – Fab Cafe in Leeds just went on sale as I type this, so tickets are very available. This is it. The end of the tour. Our deportation party. Anything left that we have, we’re going to leave right there. At this point we have no reason to hold back anything, so come down and watch two middle-aged men burn out. After being attached at the hip and going hard for four days, we should have a lot to complain about each other and, really, isn’t us bitching at each other what brought us all together in first place?

There we go. One final thought is this – many people have expressed concern about coming alone to the shows. Do not fear. We’re going to get everyone nice and friendly and partying together. Walt has a family. Bryan has a kick-ass beard. I have partying skills. Trust me on this.

I leave you with this – The Fab Cafe Leeds tour poster.  It bears mentioning that these posters were plucked from my notes and made a (better) reality by Aaron Radzwilowicz, the same mad genius who put music to Walt’s beautiful song for his wife. Clearly, Aaron does superior work so if you need a graphics guy, hit him up here.

Come One, Come All

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TESD 74:SkeleToes

It’s happened. Your life is complete. Not to say that it’s over. Do NOT kill yourself. I cannot stress that enough. All I’m saying is the one area in which your life was falling short has been sated. Because now, you can buy one of these:

Prices (which include shipping) are listed on this week’a show and are as follows (I’m pretty sure anyway). Until we figure out slightly more professional approach, just Paypal the correct amount, size, & shipping address to: Ironcity67@gmail.com

Babydoll: SM/MD, L/XL:$24.99
SM-XL:$24.99
2X,3X:$$26.99

Canada Add $5.00
All other foreign add $10.00

FYI: The back of the TESD will also say something along the lines of ‘America’s Best Loved Podcast since 1956’ or something along those lines. The back of the Space Monkeys shirt will have the website URL on it.

 

Listener Band Info:

BAND: magNEATO
SONG: delirium
WEB:

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EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!!

While browsing the talkback section of the blog today to approve/disapprove comments and find out what’s on the listenership’s mind, I happened across perhaps the most vital piece of communication TESD will ever receive. It hails from the mind/keyboard of Arthur Phillips, clearly one of the purest and most insightful thinkers of our time. For your perusal, a snapshot of the genius at work.

 

 

 

 

*Note pensive nature.

What type criminal would I be to withhold the brilliant musings of this Sartre’esque critic from you? How removed would I be from even the basest elements of my humanity should I refrain from bestowing the introspective wisdom of Arthur Phillips upon you, the imbecilic and thick-witted masses?
I count myself amongst your number friends.  We are those of dull-eyes and slackened, drool-glazed jaws. Our destiny is not to grasp the perspicacity of an Arthur Phillips, but to merely sit at his feet in awe of what our feeble minds could only dream to comprehend and digest. To attempt understanding of his wit is to dream the dream of Icarus. We fly on wings of feathers and wax my friends. ‘Tis true folly to think otherwise.

Without further hesitation I give you….Arthur Phillips.

Microsoft has to be painfully desperate to give these non-entities more airtime. If I were Bryan Johnston, I’d probably slap my fiancee for listening to this crap. Thankfully, I’m not.

I have only one request. Bryan Johnston…if you’re out there somewhere reading this, I implore you… PLEASE, for the love of God, don’t slap your fiancee for listening to we three non-entities. Just be thankful as well that Arthur Phillips isn’t your fiancee. He seems like a real douchebag.

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I Sell comics

A note regarding Walt’s latest opus:

Courage My Love has made their version of ‘I Sell Comics’ available for sale here

CML’s plan is to raise enough money from sales of the song to defray/cover the cost of travel so they can join us for our live show this coming October in some capacity. Whether that means they serve as the opening act for the Jay & Bob Get Old/Tell ‘Em Steve Dave show at the Count Basie or perform at an after-party has yet to be determined. The song costs a minimum of .99 but if you want to spend a little more to help them reach their goal of raising the travel money, that’s up to you good sirs/madams.

While CML’s cover of ‘I Sell Comics’ is pretty great, we’d be remiss to not share the roughly 15 other entries which are remarkable in their own right and our musical peeps worked so hard on. (heh, heh…hard on) Anyway, rather than attaching variations of the same song to the end of the TESD for the next few months, I’ll be contacting the artists who were good enough to take the time and make the effort to see if they’d be amenable to taking part in an ‘I Sell comics’ compilation album on Bandcamp which we’d then offer to listeners. Stay tuned for more info.

While I have your ear…

In case you haven’t heard, we’re running a promotion with the aim of boosting membership for our current sponsor Audible.com. All you have to do is sign up for a FREE two-week membership & download a FREE book to see what you think of the service. If you like it, stay on. Don’t like it, abandon ship like Q & Walt abandoned me mid-show in Houston. Either way you’ll get a no-cost (tired of using the word ‘free’) podcast compliments of your pals Bry, Walt, & Q.

A few highlights of this exclusive pod are Walt’s gonna read the lyrics to a song he’s composing for his wife & I’ll relate a story of terrorizing an asshole neighbor when I was in 8th grade which will leave you questioning my sanity…and possibly my sexuality. All you gotta do is click here to get the ball rolling. This promotion ends on August 11th 2011 & your exclusive pod will arrive by August 18th 2011. To qualify, your audible.com receipt must be sent to tellemstevedave37@gmail.com by August 12th 2011.

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TESD 71: MAKIN’ HAY II: 5TH CIRCLE

Want a FREE book as well as a FREE exclusive podcast by TESD? Then click here (for FREE) Details on how to receive the podcast can be heard on today’s show. After signing up, email your Audible.com receipt to tellemstevedave37@gmail.com with the subject line: Audible podcast & we’ll send you your free pod by mid-August.

No listener band today as I’ve attached the three finalists for TESD’s ‘I sell Comics’ music challenge to the end of the show. Below is a poll where YOU can vote for YOUR favorite version!!

Haven’t heard this yet? Then leave the cave you’ve been living in and listen to the complaints of some dopey theatre goer who was tossed from the Alamo Drafthouse for texting. (Cave comment used with consent of creator/owner Ming Chen)

Here’s a white guy checking in about three years too late to drop a beat about Silly Bandz.

Received confirmation that Mike Romeo will be on TESD sometime in early August. Who’s Mike Romeo? Leave the cave you’ve…oh shit…Ming’s watching me type and I didn’t get his permission to use that cave comment a second time. Anyway, He’s the guitarist from Symphony X. I can’t recommend this album highly enough.

Here is the ‘Rape Sticker’ purchased from Frank #1 at the auction. Wouldn’t you love to know what other ideas the genius who designed this had? Imagine being friends or being related to the piece of shit who takes this from concept to production.

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TESD 70: Making Hay II

Listener band info:

1) Band: I Am The Icarus
2)Web info:  http://www.iamtheicarus.com
3) Song: Faster

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